Leaving Behind the Eating Disorder Identity
In growing up, people are expected to find their identity: artist, writer, athlete, student; and then further on in life, perhaps teacher, parent, any number of things. It's a process that comes naturally to many people--they choose to engage in things they love and with people they love and begin building from there.
People with eating disorders face a unique roadblock in this area: how are they to establish an identity when their disorder has stolen their life away? The things that come along with eating disorders--depression, health concerns, exhaustion, isolation--are constantly working against building this life worth living and identity worth having. One of the most important parts of recovery, then, is re-connecting with yourself and re-establishing your non-disordered identity.
When an eating disorder takes a hold, very quickly, the person affected can adopt an identity in their sickness. Instead of creating themselves by engaging in activities they find enjoyable and relationships they find genuinely nourishing, someone with an eating disorder can easily fall into defining themselves in their illness.
As the illness continues, the cycle is perpetuated: eating disorders by nature are isolating and manipulating, which causes sufferers to lose important relationships, disengage from meaningful activities, and relinquish a life beyond the eating disorder. The longer this goes on, the harder it is to recover and sustain recovery.
While I can by no means pretend that I've got it all figured out and have established my own life beyond my eating disorder, I can provide the two things that have been most helpful for me:
1. While eating disorders serve a purpose, those purposes can be achieved through other means. The eating disorder takes far more than it gives.
With an eating disorder, you live a life robbed of connection, experiences, vulnerability, health, decisions. What, otherwise, makes life worth living? The first step is realizing that your life has space for these things, for joy, for growth. It has no space for the eating disorder. Recovery is the only way to get your life back.
2. Do things in recovery that make your time worthwhile.
Build mastery. Have fun. Talk to old friends. Volunteer. Do what you love, do something that sets your soul on fire, that latches on to your heart and won't ever let you go. The eating disorder has an incredibly strong pull; finding something in your life that has a pull equally as strong will make all the difference.
It will be hard, and frankly, it will suck. You may find yourself asking, "Who am I without my ED?" And I ask you to take a minute to send your gaze toward the sky, then towards your upturned palms, and realize that you are a universe, an entire cosmos, the beginning and end of your own story. You have the power to change the world--your world, one step at a time. Breathe in. Breathe out. Do that thing you've been avoiding, that thing that will help make your life something aside from illness. It will all be okay.
People with eating disorders face a unique roadblock in this area: how are they to establish an identity when their disorder has stolen their life away? The things that come along with eating disorders--depression, health concerns, exhaustion, isolation--are constantly working against building this life worth living and identity worth having. One of the most important parts of recovery, then, is re-connecting with yourself and re-establishing your non-disordered identity.
When an eating disorder takes a hold, very quickly, the person affected can adopt an identity in their sickness. Instead of creating themselves by engaging in activities they find enjoyable and relationships they find genuinely nourishing, someone with an eating disorder can easily fall into defining themselves in their illness.
As the illness continues, the cycle is perpetuated: eating disorders by nature are isolating and manipulating, which causes sufferers to lose important relationships, disengage from meaningful activities, and relinquish a life beyond the eating disorder. The longer this goes on, the harder it is to recover and sustain recovery.
While I can by no means pretend that I've got it all figured out and have established my own life beyond my eating disorder, I can provide the two things that have been most helpful for me:
1. While eating disorders serve a purpose, those purposes can be achieved through other means. The eating disorder takes far more than it gives.
With an eating disorder, you live a life robbed of connection, experiences, vulnerability, health, decisions. What, otherwise, makes life worth living? The first step is realizing that your life has space for these things, for joy, for growth. It has no space for the eating disorder. Recovery is the only way to get your life back.
2. Do things in recovery that make your time worthwhile.
Build mastery. Have fun. Talk to old friends. Volunteer. Do what you love, do something that sets your soul on fire, that latches on to your heart and won't ever let you go. The eating disorder has an incredibly strong pull; finding something in your life that has a pull equally as strong will make all the difference.
It will be hard, and frankly, it will suck. You may find yourself asking, "Who am I without my ED?" And I ask you to take a minute to send your gaze toward the sky, then towards your upturned palms, and realize that you are a universe, an entire cosmos, the beginning and end of your own story. You have the power to change the world--your world, one step at a time. Breathe in. Breathe out. Do that thing you've been avoiding, that thing that will help make your life something aside from illness. It will all be okay.
Comments
Post a Comment